Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2009 August
2009 July
2009 June
2009 May
2009 April
2009 March
2009 February
2009 January
2008 December
2008 November
2008 September
2008 August
2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 August
2007 July
2007 June
2007 May
2007 April
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
My Links
=== LYINGHERE ===
Minou's Blog
Rinna
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
======================== |
| .king.of.all.the.sad.things. |
| 08.30.04 (3:54 pm) [edit] |
|
.king.of.all.the.sad.things. [ music | massive.attack ][frustrated] too much crap going on.. hmmm update.. did not get the job at DMX.. cest la vie.. they went with someone that has more experience working in that direct field for a very similar company.. but I was very close to them. ...Did not get the 'exact position' as a manger at another store either [second internal interview in two weeks]; recieved an offer from them to move over there and do some serious training and learn other things with them for a bit more money.. its positive, I just want to be moving somewhere better.. *sigh* just tired of being 49% and not 51%... being second place means nothing in this case... I'm only slightly bitter about that becuse I did everything to believe and prove I'm the one. just dissapointed in myself mostly.... but dissapointment doesn't pay my bills or get me out of this rut.. things aren't working like this.. I'm tired of being down most of the time.. I don't want to be reliant on other people any more, but christ I need someone to take care of me for awhile... I'm tired of things I cannot change... it wouldn't be such a big deal if it didn't feel like so many.. and those I can, I'm trying, trying so hard.. but its not hard enough or good enough.. I really miss my family. I haven't seen them in over a year.. they need me no matter what they tell me.. Adian is four now. Guess I'm the estranged uncle.. not very useful to them right now anyways.. *sigh* tired of going nowhere.. tired of wondering what is wrong with me and why no one needs me.. *hrrumph* just gonna have to suck it up as usual and keep going... .. back to my corner. +lost.laine+ |
posted by: SoMe (reply)
post date: 09.12.04 (10:46 pm)
You certainly have a prevailing theme. I know what it is to have only yourself to rely on, and you aren't even standing on the ground... more at the bottom of a soggy pit of your own digging as you look around and see there is no helping hand extending downward. It is at this point that the timid lay there and die and the strong figure out a really creative way to get the hell out of there.
You seem to smart to take it sitting down, so I imagine you are slowly climbing? Consider that you hold yourself back with the heavy weight of your self down-trodden words?
Not to sound like a self-help guru but... the way you speak about yourself to yourself is the most powerful word-of-mouth advertising in your world. Would love to read a post reflecting progress made,if in fact progress has been made.
posted by: Gemgal (reply)
post date: 09.18.04 (5:02 am)
You're always needed, and missed B!
Big hugs
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
|
-silence- .speak without fear. .know that beauty is balance/beauty is flesh. .know that life is a road we fall blindly downward. .know that when we touch, we affect things. .know this all means something. .love is only here to devour & fondle us. |