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| .ccxvi. |
| 12.12.06 (1:57 am) [edit] |
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[ .ccxvi. : day two hundred and sixteen ] "i never knew a heart could live inside, the rust from all your rain" catch up... I was chatting with a gf friend, and it seems I have to change my way of doing things to get waht I want.. dumb down and be more of an asshole... ironically not something in my present nature.... but it seems girls dig that side of things for some reason... I need to be more disposable and less of the attachment type, I guess.. I am summerizing the conversation terribly here, but I'm tired and just can't get my brain to focus. as far as relationships go.. things with Minou are great.. we really have a good score on our communication. I'll admit I'm not happy with where 'I' am at, but I know this will pass, now that she is almost done and back to work. its been good for her and i'm very proud of her. I have a few relationships on the go, but nothing too serious just yet. its more of in the making kind of stage.. but after the past year, just seemed no one had time for me when 'I' was free.. so it made a lot more work for me, and a lot of dissapointment.. but I know, as I was recently told, that I have to be patient long enough to resolve some things and I know that being in AB is not for me, so no point in getting too settled.. I just want things to be good for the time I'm here, so I can enjoy it more... but you make you own fun I suppose.. been dreaming a lot.. a lot of vivid and clear events.. other things about finally getting a book deal or a promotion.. I take it to mean good things, but I'm not sure what to read into it.. I've never dreamed like that before, so its the only reason I mention deals and things about the future... its been hard to meditate, and get time for my head lately.. my guides have been present but not interactive, so I'm just dealing with myself and focusing my energy into merging my conscious with my body.. its something I've been lax in achieving and if I can get that in focus, more things should be clear. my memory has been very good though, I have a much clearer path to whats more or less visual mapping in my head, I know how I learn and I can mostly balance 'where' I leave information in my brain... working on .. Tribal Site, Kye's site, Spanish, Flash; my own site and MM book & site work as well.. I'm amazed at having any time to write lately, but I am having difficulties getting in the study time on the side for Spanish and Webdesign stuff I need. So I think I will have to re-evaluate where I am this week and try to get some dates settled. I want to do well, but I'm having limiting issues with the basics of the site atm. on the back burning fell X days and GN, but I will get back to that writing and art soon enough. ummm.. road trip to mexico this spring/summer we hope.. wedding in china in 2008 I believe as well.. so my travel plans seem to be growing properly. now I just need some execution to them. ranted out. more to say, but I just can't do it atm. *shakes weary head* parting thoughts: +lost.late.laine+ |
posted by: seochris (reply)
post date: 12.13.06 (9:51 pm)
Hey this is a real lenthy blog.
But I loved to read ur musings....
posted by: lyinghere (reply)
post date: 12.13.06 (10:42 pm)
thanks seo =]
I don't rant as much as I mean to on here =S
so in some cases it all gets stored up ...
posted by: Minou (reply)
post date: 12.14.06 (2:29 pm)
Your Ms Minou Misses You :)
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-silence- .speak without fear. .know that beauty is balance/beauty is flesh. .know that life is a road we fall blindly downward. .know that when we touch, we affect things. .know this all means something. .love is only here to devour & fondle us. |