[ .ccxcvi. : two hundred and ninety-six days ]

" they found her in her room wearing a pink bunny suit
in sour cherry lipstick hanging from the closet door
her eyes were wide maybe to despise
maybe just to look into your head light morning glow,
this is it, this is our prime time deliverance"
~m.good

two seventeen ante meridiem..
minus twelve degrees celsius, snowing, north east, calgary, alberta ..

THE ENEMIES OF HAPPINESS ARE AWAKE!
[ freedom and happiness cannot co-exist ]

.. we are clearly this vermin, the mephi, disturbers of peace, usurpers..
but we are truth and freedom, we are awake and aware..
... we are not control, we are not lies..
we pull out the nails from underneath everything thing you own..
we hope to build a better world that has open eyes and open hearts..

I've been reviewing a lot of political faux pas and footage lately, too much to mention all a once here, but I will go with something a bit more simple..

I discover there are far too many individuals with a voice these days.. (I know my own ironic statements) often those that need to be heard and are buried by more important tragedies of the cosmopolitan cosmos.. as pointed out on on m.g.'s blog on saint anna in death gets more moment to moment coverage than innocent casualties of either the Afgan or Iraq/Iran conflicts.. captilism and conservativism are often to blame for the control of the media..

but by accident I found two Savages' at opposing ends of the spectrum:

amputechture came philistine praise bottomless pit of empty names incarcerated habits pour from the palms severing the breast nursing all the young

.the.mars.volta.

[ .depending. ]

may still lose you
in time
the free hand
running from the still
the hour depicts
its never too late
only too long
until our next pass
in the dimming light

© Bryan McLean, February 17 2007,
excerpt from The Syndrome Papers
Book III : The Epoch Wake

[ .cclxxxv. : two hundred and eighty-five days ]

" you and I, we may look the same
but we are very far apart,
there's bullet holes where my compassion used to be,
and there is violence in my heart ... "
~t.reznor

I'm pretty low atm..
Ironically knowing there is new NIN : year:zero : just around the corner ...
in april has cheered me up.. : source :

tracks

drunk a bit.. just tired mostly.. not much to share.. I have a photo shoot tomorrow.. see how that goes.. just doing some web work tonight..

going to crash now..
+laine+

[ .cclxxxi. : two hundred and eighty-one days ]

" fear is your only god on the radio "

.the.revolution.will.be.televised.

its 3am again.. minus twenty degress celsius
.. overcast ... 8-14 inches of snow..

[ the server was down again so I posted this asap, i'm seriously considering finally putting $ into my own server space and my primary tools off of lyinghere.com, but not till june at least. ]

in studying concepts, revolution, yet again, I accidently came across JoshWolf's site..
:  for those interested, I encourage you to at least review his situation..
the brief version : 

as of Feb 6, Josh is now the longest imprisoned journalist in US history for resisting a subpoena to testify before a Federal Grand jury.  He has not been charged with any crime and is being held under civil contempt, well over 170 days now.  : source : 

This is yet another prime example of the decay of the Free Press.
the radio and television are built to misinform or distract, so is print media. the internet is false, if it cannot simply be re-coded/re-written, then it can be shut down.

our freedom and free voices are slipping from our grasp... if we are not trading it freely. happiness and freedom cannot co-exist.  to be happy, we must trade our freedom. to be safe, we must not think for ourselves, not educate ourselves.

We are tumbling closer and closer to a series of incidents.

Particularly with the USA shutting its accessable borders, Making flight of Canadians now international travel, requiring a Passport, and treatment from our 'southern big brother' colder and colder. We are not under free trade with the States, they only need our resources, not our money or culture.

Their prison system decaying into slave labor, with less and less of the goals correctional by any means. Canadian facilities are at best a trap door through which to dump our criminals.. few programs even bring about responsiblity of action or rehabilition, or integration into community.

The USA's incitation of fear and terror into the houses and homes of what I consider good people.. most of good conscience.. average joe or jane .. are forced pratically of the video  gun point of Mr. Terrorist every night on news.. nearly round the clock if you get
broadcasts to your cell.. phone...

A War with underlying goals.. Freedom is not the Goal. Blood and Oil? Or more likely the prevention of a super power state with strong ties to china or korea... an enormous nuclear threat..

a threat against the peoples of a nation that their only (if not ignorant) crime is that their gov't has spoiled the land they live on... poisoned and controlled the minds of every person in their financial feudal system .. into the false projection of a fascist capitalistic state that is held hidden in the weak disguise of democracy.

[ its lock down ]
close the doors
turn off the light
activists now branded
proud worn badges perhaps
the police state
restless now for terrorists 
inside their infrastructure
actively seeking a human cause
brands the activist
simply another prop of terror
.2007.02.12 ~bmc

terrorist – noun
1.  a radical who employs terror as a political weapon; usually organizes with other terrorists in small cells; often uses religion as a cover for terrorist activities 

activist – noun
1. an especially active, vigorous advocate of a cause, esp. a political cause.

I find myself sliding more and more everyday away from what we have become... what our daily lives are.. the day job, the tv, the lines, the materialism..

we make the future, meaning that from the past we indeed have made this world.
we need to reshape our goals... we need to speak before its too late...
we need to waken to seize our chance..

I need more tools to do this... to find myself involved...

in a human cause.

+angry.laine+

[ .cclxxix. : two hundred and seventy-nine days ]
[ .reading: wisdom.peaceful.warrior, milman; hell.to.pay, green. ]
[ .listening: billy.talent.II, my.chemical.romance. ]

" The red flag waving never meant the same…
Cast off the crutch that kills the pain,
The red flag waving never meant the same
The kids of tomorrow don’t need today,
When they live in the sins of yesterday "
~ben kowalewicz

minus eighteen degrees celsius / 摄氏度书面语缩写� �� ...

I'm pretty worn out.. over time is prolly not a good plan for keeping one's sanity, but I only need to do it for a bit more.. just need to replace my own system and get things balanced out.

minou has been working hard at her new position, so it keeps her preoccupied. gonna hang out for a bit tomorrow, which I'm looking forwards to.

hmmm thirty eight days left of my meds.. broke them down to limited doses.. not sure if its working, being tired isn't going to help me make solid decisions either.. so I figure its time to crash soon...

just been reading a lot lately and hoping to get caught up on some training ..

+exhausted.laine+

[ The Prophecy of the Indigo Child ]

At the dawn of time, a prophecy was given to the first humans. The day will come when a child with a pure soul will be born. This perfectly pure child will have the memory from before his birth and will carry with him the secret of secrets, the answer to everything and have extraordinary powers.

This child is called the "Indigo Child". No one knows where or when this child will appear, but ever since his birth was announced, it has become the biggest hope of humanity, the one that will reveal the truth, the one that will give infinite and eternal power.

The first men organized themselves as Clans with the goal to control as many territories as possible thus to improve their chance to see the Indigo Child be born in their possession. The quest for the Indigo Child is the real reason of all of history's conquest and wars that man has made since the birth of humanity. It is the reason why men seek to own more and more territory and wealth.

---

Characteristics of Indigo Children

1. They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it).
2. They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are surprised when others do not share that.
3. Self-worth is not a big issue; they often tell the parents "who they are."
4. They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).
5. They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
6. They get frustrated with systems that are ritually oriented and do not require creative thought.
7. They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like "system busters" (non-conforming to any system).
8. They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.
9. They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets home and finds out what you did").
10. They are not shy in letting it be known what they need. 

Indigo Traits

Have strong self esteem, connection to source Have an obvious sense of self Refuse to follow orders or directions Get bored rather easily with assigned tasks Are rather creative Display strong intuition Have either strong or no empathy for others Develop abstract thinking very young Are gifted and/or talented, highly intelligent Are often identified or suspected of having ADHD Are frequent daydreamers Have very old, deep, wise looking eyes   Highly intelligent. Often very creative. Developmentally advanced in reading walking, talking, etc. Psychic/intuitive abilities.

Multi-dimensionally awareness; they perceive a broader range of reality. Telepathic abilities. They sense and feel energies from people or other living things (aura reading). Telekinesis, etc. Moving objects with their mind energy and thought. Awareness of scientific, historical, anthropological and spiritual knowledge not consciously learnt. Sometimes called 'knowledge bombs'. Awareness of past lives. Extremely empathic to all creatures, not just humans but animals and plants. They can communicate with the unseen world, spirits and angels. Multi-dimensional healing abilities. Manifest unusual artwork, languages and scripts. They experience dreams where they are being taught how to use their high sense abilities on space craft. Dual consciousness; feeling part human and part extraterrestrial. Have a sense of mission or higher purpose.

[ .cclxix. : two hundred and sixty-nine days ]
[ .reading: seperate.realities, castenada; hell.to.pay, green. ]
[ .listening: neverendi ng.white.lights, moist ]

" you could be the innocent
and i could play the unwashed savior
counting on your cancer to teach us to live
tired of all the vacillations
halcion take me under
we're laughing i'm crashing "
~david usher

And I'm on drugs.. which is why I wake up every four F$%^$ing hours...
tired of sneezing... stupid weather changes.. flu/cold.. should have stayed home from work..
hoping winter passes soon.. I just hope I don't end up as the Crack Spider's bitch..
[ for more information on the crack spider's bitch.. see it on : youtube : ]

Tomorrow is Imbolc, a fire festival, and is generally when we see the end of winter coming or its prolonging.. serpents, badgers, groundhogs generally are watched for at this time, as they are ground dwelling creatures and will be seeking new warmth and food.. if they continue to hide, its considered a sign of continued winter... I don't know how global warming effects these 'traditions'

" Fire and purification is considered by many to be an important aspect of this festival. Brigid (also known as Brighid, Bríde, Brigit, Brìd, Breed) is the Goddess of Poetry, Healing, and Smithcraft. As both goddess and saint she is also associated with holy wells, sacred flames, and healing. To some, the lighting of candles and fires represents the return of warmth and the increasing power of the Sun over the coming months. " :source:

So light a candle or two tomorrow ..

back to crack sleep...
+delirious.laine+