The music is attrocious here.. must move..

but for those in search of reference, this was my last playlist I was working with.. its been a rather long time since I dj'ed .. sadly you never get out of the habit..

Hey All,

sorry .. I've pretty much been offline .. and to my devoted fans, I apologize.. my computer is dead.. my hard drive is toast, and short of some butter and jam.. I'm pretty screwed.. lost my music files and more than likely will loose six months of personal work along with two projects I was trying to complete... ironically, no computer, no extra work, no extra money.. karma is seems, has me a tad bent over...

I'm beginning to realize that I haven't been suffering eight some months of depression.. its actually just life.

yay me..

I'm frustrated in ways I can't understand.. I just want to feel something.. but everything is just bluring around me.. I can't seem to fix what I want and it winds up all being about money.. I have good times now and then.. but lately it seems like every nerve is home.

miss you all

hope to be around soon

+meanderinglaine+

[ .the.czar.of.bombastic. ]

the czar of bombastic
is still in the grave
where we try to hold our own
against the shivering night

bass jazz is my only scratch
ambient and angry
against your willed loneliness

the shallow weep
for their imperfections
while the dying in wait
are in need of water

the intellectual zealots gathering
in my broken down house
sharpening our weapons
all day long
till all are at the ready

at a head we lead and stoke
knowing where we found our serpintine lust
we hold down those hands
and brand with searing infliction
certain they won't harm us any longer

dead eyes stare up
from our passing tribe
blackwings shutter overhead
yet all I hear is my heartbeat

just too complex for the living
my hungy hands
needy and digging through the dirt
salty lines play at my mouth
and the sky is too encombered
for my somber language

©BMc2k5

.the.czar.of.bombastic...is still in the grave.. sadly my pc, belerapohon, is still not up and running.. after finally getting a loaner monitor that actually works.. it has caused me nothign but more grief.. after the nuclear scare, it turns out that *crossesfingers / knockonwood* my battery on my mother board has pfft'd.. so that will be getting fixed tomorrow I hope..

thus returning me to the wonders of posting here...
with some semblance of consistancy.. and praying to all those above me.. finding real contract work and getting company stuff done... money and living..

still living the dayjob life.. but things are well there..
crazy dumping and bad timing this week.. but fine none the less...

hmmm.. a friend of mine is starting a pagan learning circle for individual practicioneres next week.. so I'll be joining up with that.. [its similar to the pagan pub nites I'd crawl to in London.. that group actually started a legal chapter.. so thats neat...]

dunno where this is going yet.. but figure if I keep sitting on my ass, nothing will get done.. and I will slip further into my meloncoly... I'd rather be supportive with this than just sit around anyways..

hmmm.... crazy stuff.. umm.. been on WW a lot, waiting for updates on new stuff.. talking with ppl on the forum and passing on the irc info as it comes in...

ah.. this is turning into one of those rambling blogs, where no one reads past the first five lines...

new living place is AWESOME!!! I can't wait till its warmer to use our backyard!!

thinking to have a house warming around Imbolc... we shall see.. its only a few weeks away..

Minou is doing well.. after our new years day trip with EMS, nothing was terribly wrong.. she's been sick, but getting better... working two jobs now.. I'm very very proud of her, but I wish she had one stable job... be easier on her... but she is determined to do this and get her work going on track again.. I'm always here for her... and glad she is settling into what she needs to do.

hmmmm well I'm sure there is more.. but its time to get my lazy glutes moving...

cheers kiddies.. miss and love you all..
*free gropes for everyone!*

+laine+